Stand With Your Back Straight and Shoulders Back

What do you say to the world?

Because it is not what you say that contributes the most to that message, but how you carry yourself.

It is not the conscious actions which are communicated; it is the subconscious.

Because this is the case, I've been very conscious of my posture as I go about my day. It's not automatic: always noticing and having to adjust my forward shoulders.

However, the benefits of correct posture reveal themselves naturally through the response of others and the boost of self-confidence.

Posture Influence Interactions With Reality

I was first introduced to the importance of correct posture in Jordan Peterson's book '12 Rules For Life'.

It was the very first chapter.

It must have been grade 9.

Long story short: if something as old as biology influences our behaviour, we should take advantage of it. That advantage Peterson was talking about was having good posture.

The biological aspect involved male lobsters, how those who won more fights had more serotonin and had wider, dominating, and more confident stances. Like any other animal, they were organised in a dominance hierarchy.

He argues humans are the same.

When you see someone with poor posture: what do you believe about them?

Weakness?

Subconsciously, we have been hardwired to detect behaviour that reveals a person's motive, demeanour and character.

This also very much influences posture.

There's a boy I notice on occasion around the school.

His back is hunched over, he has bags under his eyes, then a weak jaw due to his mouth breathing.

Do I see someone who is strong?

No.

Do I respect him for it?

Not particularly.

I can assume this of him: he doesn't get enough sleep and isn't aware of how he presents himself.

Hey, maybe it is not his fault. But I cannot respect anyone who puts themselves in a worse position than they already are.

Why do we respect someone who is aware of their appearance and maintain it?

That is almost a second definition of being attractive.

You know what outfit, shoes, accessories, hairstyle, cologne, perfume, facial care, demeanour, tonality, and body language will present you in the best light.

To have this awareness also implies you care about what others think of you.

Putting effort into maintaining that attractive appearance is what gets you respected.

And this doesn't have to be in a romantic sense.

Don't you want your friends to be attractive as well?

Although it has been advocated in the self-care industry to not care about what others think, you can still utilise feedback from reality to alter the current thesis you have of the world.

Because reality is an aspect of that.

You provide stimuli, reality gives you feedback, and then you continue the cycle again.

An example of bad stimuli is poor posture: for both you and the people around you.

Do not believe it's other people's job to look past your appearance and judge you purely by your character. It would be a perfect world if it was the case!

But, always put yourself in the best position, always.

Why would you compromise yourself?

When you present yourself to the world through poor body language, you are put into a position of being judged as weak.

Even though you might be the most honest, most kind, most charismatic person to exist, your body language tells more of yourself than what you actually say.

Nearly 80% of communication is body language.

So if you want to be treated as confident and someone who should be respected, present yourself like it.

Because the word and the actions you take have to be congruent. If they do not align, there is dissonance and friction with how people interact with you.

Referring back to Peterson, he argues your posture aligns with your placement in the dominance hierarchy. Like lobsters, chemicals like serotonin can influence our body language.

Think of school.

If someone has confident body language, they likely have more serotonin because they are placed higher in the dominance hierarchy.

And it might not even be in the hierarchy of the school.

Any class, friendship group, workplace, family, society: can all be argued as different dominance hierarchies.

So, if you are the more dominant or competent person in the hierarchy, you are rewarded biologically with serotonin to continue your dominant position.

What serotonin also influences is your level of happiness.

Of course, you're gonna be happy if you are at the top of any hierarchy!

You are the most competent, thus most dominant, in your respective hierarchy.

The top are given the most reward out of anyone participating: both in the physical and chemical sense.

Now, let's bring it back to you.

So, maybe you are at the bottom of all hierarchies you are in.

There is something you can do about it.

Even if you don't feel confident, you can help yourself first by correcting your posture.

This will help you confront reality, as Peterson would say in his chapter. It's no good being weak in the face of peril and adversity.

That's it.

That is the solution, not a final solution, but it would be my first step towards being better.

Do It, Damn It!

For those who ask, what is only one thing they need to remember:

Stand with your back straight and shoulders back.

You might not be fully aware of why it must be done.

You don't need a comprehensive understanding to reap the rewards of such habits.

Have faith that there is a reward through your efforts.

Notice if you get complimented more for your correct posture. Notice yourself feeling better and more confident in yourself. Notice your relationship with reality starting to shift.

People will respect your effort to present yourself as the best version of yourself.

The relationship between our inner selves and our appearance is closely related and cannot be ignored.

Also, you look better anyways!