Sleeping And Dreaming

"And it seems the longer I sleep, the more I dream. The more I dream, the more I remember the experiences trapped in the subconscious."-D. Duke, 21/08/2022

As someone who has always been fascinated by the subconscious mind and the experiences trapped within it, I have always been intrigued by the relationship between sleep and dreams.

In this article, I will be sharing my personal experiences with nightmares, fear of death, and lucid dreaming, and how these experiences have shaped my understanding of the human mind. Through sharing my journey, I hope to provide insight and understanding into the complex and often mysterious world of dreaming. So, let's dive in and explore the depths of the subconscious mind together.

The Relationship With Death

As a child, I would often have terrible nightmares. The most extreme example I can recall is being in a void with no ability to see, but feeling as though creatures were surrounding me, suffocating me, and staring closely at me.

Another recurring nightmare I had was a scenario in which monsters would come out at night, and I had to protect myself in my house. I would have a hunting rifle to defend the house, but despite my efforts, the monsters, whether they were creatures I couldn't see or witches, would always break in, trap me in my room, and ultimately kill me.

The scariest nightmare I had, however, involved a ghost of some kind that would be in the house. I would, in my dream, walk outside my room into the dark hallway, only for the ghost to possess me, feeling as though it was sucking out my soul and taking away my sight.

A common theme in my scariest nightmares was the loss of my sight, but I could still feel all of the fear and adrenaline.

I attribute these nightmares to my cousin introducing me to the elusive figure known as Slender Man. This character deeply affected me as a child, causing me to fear dark places, sleeping alone, and dying at the hands of a monster.

I believe that kids are not scared of monsters per se, but rather, we are at our most vulnerable as children and we must protect and preserve ourselves from any potential threat of death.

It wasn't until I stopped over-fearing death that I started having normal dreams. I realised that if a monster really existed, the government would be warning the public and hunting it down, or if ghosts were real, they would have to violate all the laws of physics and our current understanding of reality.

These fears of mine made me fear sleeping. I would still reluctantly fall asleep, but I always had the thought in the back of my mind that I had no idea what my dream, or nightmare for that matter, had in store for me.

Lucid Dreaming

There was a phase in my life, lasting only for a month, where I attempted to control my dreams. It was during Grade 9 and this is how I did it.

First, I tried to sleep longer and without an alarm. It's during Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep that we believe is when we dream. Having an alarm might interrupt us during this cycle of sleep, thus shortening our experience in the dream. Therefore, the amount of uninterrupted sleep was important.

Another habit I had was to have a dream journal beside my bed after dreaming and waking up. There, I wrote down every detail of my dream.

I knew if I waited for 10 minutes before writing, I would soon forget it because it was not fresh in the mind. Eventually, I would have pages filled out with dreams. With each one, it seemed my dreams would go all over the place, jumping from one scene to the next.

The point of journaling is to train yourself to be conscious while in a dream. Remembering dreams trains your ability to be aware when you are in a dream.

Additionally, I started to notice patterns with my dreams.

If a certain detail or motif occurred again and again, I would realise when I was asleep and dreaming.

Other details that might help is looking down at your hand while you are in a dream. Because it's not the real world, the dream won't get all of the details right. I would look down and there were 6 fingers meshed into a blur.

Particularly if you wear a watch, you can look at your wrist to see if there is one, or if the time is messed up. Dreams can capture big ideas, but not the small, minute details.

At some point, I was able to be conscious that I was in a dream and was able to fly. Other than that, I haven't lucid dreamed since.

I think it's because I like to be conscious in my dreams, but not have absolute control over what unfolds. The mind takes me to places where I wish to see. I let it dictate where I go while I'm asleep.

And because of that, I'm able to experience things that make me go, "I've never had a conscious thought about in the real world. I wonder why my dream came up with that?"

I reflect on the day before to see if I thought of something that might have conjured the dream's details.

Something might have provoked it: did I think of something, someone, somewhere?

Still, I do not look into the meaning too much. I only see dreaming as a method for the mind to reorganise information while we are unconscious and asleep. Nothing too meaningful.

Who knows? Could the subconscious call to the conscious?

Just Another Night

In conclusion, the relationship between sleep and dreams is a complex and often mysterious one, shaped by the experiences and fears that we carry with us in the subconscious mind. Through sharing my personal experiences with nightmares, fear of death, and lucid dreaming, I hope to provide insight and understanding into the world of dreaming and how it can shape our understanding of the human mind.

From my journey, I have learned that fear of death and monsters can lead to nightmares and fear of sleeping, but by facing and overcoming these fears, we can have normal dreams. Additionally, I have explored the idea of lucid dreaming and how it can be used to gain control over our dreams, but ultimately, I have come to appreciate the mind's ability to take us to places we wish to see, without the need for absolute control.

The mind and the subconscious are powerful tools that we can use to attempt to understand ourselves, if we are willing to explore the depths of it.