High School Formal
"This isn't the end. This was a necessary part of our lives. This is just the beginning."
Hear the murmur of high school peers as they gather for formal, the pinnacle of secondary education. What will the future hold for these soon-to-be graduates? Will they find success, or will they be stuck in a 9-5 job, living paycheck to paycheck?
High school must be one of the best years of one's life. Six hours a day, five days a week, you were bunched up with your fellow peers enjoying the pain of forced education. Formal is the big event everyone looks forward to. It's what pushes them forward through their exams and last few weeks.
The formal experience is one of the few times where we can dress up and feel like a million bucks, so, it's important to take the time to learn how to dress properly and make the most of it. In this article, we will explore the mindset around formal, from the choices of paths and the importance of fashion, to the fears and motivations I hold.
Looking Around The Tables In 10 Years
"When I look around the room, most of the people will be working 9-5 jobs; living paycheck to paycheck; spending their leftovers at the pub on beer and gambling it away. Most of them will not be successful."-Jamie
All our boys were seated at table 11. We had a vacant seat that would later be taken by an African student of ours. He asked a question to the table,
"Where are you going to be in 10 years?" -Heritier
The specific time frame is when we will be back together for our reunion. One by one we took our turns answering the question. Some more than others had an idea to where they will land up. Fighter pilot, electrician, game developer, e-commerce, digital marketing, footballer, software engineer and entrepreneurs. A variety of paths.
Then, between the African student, who was becoming a footballer and entrepreneur, my e-commerce friend and myself, we held our own discussion after the round-table talk. We were commentating how most of our desires and chosen paths are more ambitious than most. We weren't afraid to point out the nature of the majority: they are average.
I wanted to make the comment, but I didn't have the chance, so I'm writing it here!
We need the mediocre majority for individuals like ourselves to rise above them. It is cruel, but not everyone can be an outright winner. Someone has to have faith in the system and work by its set of rules. Pleasures like alcohol, drugs, porn, social media are what makes living the shackles of slavery bearable. Is it by your own free will to choose the 9-5? To live for the weekend, only for Monday to come?
Now reflecting back, I don't know if I am motivated by the thought that in ten years time, when it is our school reunion, I am able to show my achievements to my past peers. Will I sit their in a litany of depression hearing the sad lives they have chosen? Who will be stuck in a dead-end job? Married to a ball and chain? Still attempting to grip to their youth by never growing up? I never denied the reality that people make choices: good or bad.
I am fearful that my future success will make people else jealous. Or I am at such a high echelon of life that the 'normal' conversations and binge drinking would bore me without sophistication. The people you surround yourself plays a large factor into success. If you surround yourself with people who share the same goal as you, there is high likelihood you will commit yourselves to the necessary action for that desired outcome.
What I fear also at our reunion is the peers I knew are not working towards a dream or purpose, and becoming the best versions of themselves.
Reaching The Top Of The Mountain
Formal is the pinnacle of high school; you look around to see there is not much at the top.
That's not to be a Debby downer. If given the opportunity to be suited up, and attend a function with my fellow peers, I'd do it again. For the normal person, rarely do they have to fancy themselves for an important occasion. The lead up felt more exciting than its attendance. Putting on the suit for the first time hypes you up. Being chauffeured in a luxury car and arriving with your formal partner is fun. All eyes are on you.
Perhaps the work of the ego?
Maybe it missed the mark because I am not one who purely derives their enjoyment from parties. I can dance and have fun. I enjoy the company than the activity itself. But, I think it is more memorable and enjoyable looking back at the photos you took and remembering the moment that was. It is a final goodbye to everyone.
However, it's a celebration of graduating and entering the next stage of life. The senior years are arguably the hardest, and formal gives something to look forward to.
Getting Suited Up
(This next session is about men's fashion.)
Men look their best when in suits.
You've got that cockiness and suave to your strut when in a suit. The feeling can be best described as, "I am the best dressed man in that room", and owning it. Call it arrogance or ego, but the suit pushes borderline confidence.
That is perhaps the appeal for James Bond. Before I wore my suit for formal, I started watching a couple of scenes from Casino Royale, actor Daniel Craig's first debut as 007. Particularly the opening You Know My Name, when Vesper sizes Bond up, and the poker showdown between Le Cheuff and 007. Craig had that stoicism and arrogance as an upcoming young agent. A man capable of anything, while rocking the suit. The attire taps into masculinity, a drive in any masculine man.
The design of the dress suit highlights the male physique. The suit is meant to exenterate the shoulders, creating a v-taper shape highlighting upper body strength. Why shoulders, chest and arms are sought after as it hints to a male's ability to fight in combat. That relationship with violence whilst being under voluntary control is what creates attraction. It's knowing you have the potential to protect through the infliction of harm.
Style shows sophistication and awareness to one's appearance which is one of the most attractive traits you can have. Physique of the person who wears the suit matters. It is more impressive to have the body of a weapon, to then be fitted with a suit to compliment you even further. There's looking nice. Then there's looking good.
A lot of the my boys wore three-piece suits. I had intentions to go with a three-piece suit as well. Shows like Peaky Blinders get the boys riled up. Still, I stuck with the tried and true black-tie tuxedo.
A Note With Wearing A Suit
Gentlemen. Remember that v-taper shape?
Do not do the bottom button. If you have your bottom button done, it shows you have no knowledge on how to properly wear a suit. You are not properly highlighting the shape of the suit it was designed to worn.
We had a photo shoot at popular spot, and there were many graduates getting their photos. The amount of bottom buttons done was unfathomable. The only people I told to undo their bottom buttons were my friends. As for me, the dinner jacket is designed to only have one button, so there was no bottom button too button up.
(I shouldn't make such a big deal out of it. Perhaps its coming from a place of "I want you to look your best". And creating the form of a 'v' is looking your best and having a layer of sophistication and awareness when it comes to wearing suits.)
Black-Tie Dress Code
Before I got my suit, I researched the shit out of the black-tie dress code. The black dinner jacket tuxedo will look good on any man. Research crushed uncertainty when it came to decision making. When I got to the tailor shop, and they asked the questions, I knew the answers. There was no hesitancy: black dinner jacket with shawl lapels; black bow tie; white dress-shirt; cufflinks; no belt.
At my high school formal, I only saw one other student wear a bowtie. When getting my measurements, the tailor gave me a pre-tied bowtie. I exclaimed my desire to get a real bow tie and learn how to tie it. He said it was hard, so I had to get to learning it. Now, thank god, it's just one of those life skills I have. (The last knot is always the hardest.) Having that skill, I am impressed with myself. With dedication and practice, and many YouTube tutorials, I can create the bowtie.
A man would wear a untied bowtie; a boy would wear pre-tied.
Colour Matching
Common practice seems to have matching colours with your formal partner. I had no intention to.
Why colour match with your partner?
My philosophy with formal is your female partner is going to look good anyways; all the focus and attention is on her. She had her nails, hair, make-up done, and all you had to do was get a hair cut and wear a suit. (We literally made this comparison in the car while being chauffeured.)
The same e-commerce friend agreed how formal is more focussed on the females than the males. It's a lot of investment on their half; credit is where credit is due.
Having A Formal Partner
Arguably, having a suit is further complimented with a female formal partner. Her looks and beauty will give you credibility. In hindsight, I am glad I went with a partner. It's more fun than going by yourself. I didn't known how much of a big deal my partner was only until after. Truly, I thought there was nothing special about her. However, it inevitably gave me status.
It was only after arrivals I realised I wasn't a gentlemen and didn't walk her with my arm. I think most partners did that, which made me realised. Oh well. I think my father also pointed that out, but I joked,
"I needed my arms free just in case some ninjas attacked us."
Also at arrivals, throughout the car ride, I was quite relaxed. I felt the nervousness only up until it was time to get out of the car and greet the peanut gallery. It was the first time 'arriving' at such a formal event, doing the whole 'open the car door for her', take photos etc. I can only compare it to performing on stage or public speaking, because all eyes are on you.
Originally, I had intended to go to formal by myself. Then, I invited a male friend to join together as a power play. We were both academically driven, not giving formal a second thought. With opportunity, I took to ask a female partner. I addressed this to my friend, joking to him, "Do not see this as betrayal." He was ok with it.
I've discussed with my father how I didn't want to go to formal with anyone; my last statement before peace-ing out. He said,
"Well... What might happen is: you and a friend girl of yours might happen to not have a partner, and go to formal together."
Funny how the universe works? That's exactly what happened.
Perhaps not wanting to go with a female partner to formal was my arrogance coming through. Or a self-justification protecting myself from potential rejection. In the moment, I was more curious what was the outcome when I asked. My attitude was 'why not?' Should I live with regret not knowing if I could have had a formal partner? Or perhaps it was 'fuck it' I have nothing to lose other than a 'no'.
If you don't ask, the answer is no.
Am I saying get a partner? That's not for me to answer. Reading my words, perhaps I am pushing further to one side of question. At the time, I saw no benefit. Now, I saw my decision was a net-positive.
What I can also say is don't get a partner you will sit in the car awkwardly with. That's partially due to your ability to be interesting and hold a conversation. It's going to be a lot of waiting before you end up leaving the car to arrive at your formal.
(Read How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Your ability to be social is relative to how good of a listener and be interested in the other person.)
The End of High School
The following is written by AI and is good summation of High School Formal: Life, Suits and Dresses:
The article reflects on the experience of high school and the thoughts and feelings of the author as he looks forward to the future. The author reflects on the different paths that his peers may take in their lives and the potential consequences of those choices. He also reflects on his own fears and motivations for future success. The article also touches on the experience of formal and the importance of fashion, particularly the appearance for men.
Let's hope I get to wear more suits in the future. And I'll see some of you at our ten year reunion.