How To Become Popular In School

I'm not going to talk about becoming one of the 'popular kids'.

That's absolute bull crap about a made-up social hierarchy that means bugger all once you graduate.

So, I'm here to tell how I got to know a LOT of people from my school.

There are few social environments where you have the opportunity to hang out and interact with people the same age as you: day in and day out.

Who Says You're Popular?

My 'popularity' (I'm try to write that in the most humble way) only came to my attention one day walking between classes.

After saying hi to like 6 different people who walked past us, I got asked by a peer from my Math Methods class:

"How are you so popular, Denzil?"

"I'm not popular. I just happen to know a lot of people."

Maybe she said that ironically, but it made me think about how I knew so many different people.

So, here are my secrets.

Greet EVERYONE You Know

It can be as simple as:

"Good morning!"

"How are you?"

All with a smile and acknowledging them by using their name.

Dale Carnegie mentions in his book, How To Win Friends & Influence People:

"The sweetest sound in the English language is someone's own name."

To say someone's name, is to acknowledge you know them and appreciate their presence.

I must emphasise that you do it with bubbling enthusiasm. This ultimately comes in the form of a smile.

Because, what you are doing is giving the other person your simmering energy. Not so much that they're overwhelmed and disgusted by your false 'happiness'.

But, showing that you're keeping it cool and containing that enthusiasm you have for them.

(Another greeting I love is just going for a handshake with the blokes. There was a guy in my brother's grade, without fail, if he sees me, he'll come up for a handshake, say my name and I say his, and we go about his day as normal.)

"Hey, Wait Up!"

There might be times where I couldn't greet someone if they weren't walking past me.

Alas, I had no shame shouting someone's name to grab their attention, walking up to them or asking for them to slow down so we could walk together.

For example, I'll call out to someone to wait and I'll walk that one friend to their home group room (HGR).

We'll chat for a bit, and when their class was heading in I'd say goodbye.

Usually on the walk to my HGR, I'll see another guy waiting for his class to go in and I'll strike up a conversation.

This would repeat, pushing the line of being on time and late for my own HGR class.

(I had the bells dictate that.)

Again, this verbalises that you care about these people.

Because, in a way, it's almost close to the feeling of attraction: where it's that desire of wanting to be desired but in a plutonic context.

If someone shows that they want to hang out with you, and will go out of their way to do so without anything in return, you'll appreciate that.

For me, I ask for them to wait up so we can have a brief moment together just before having to go class and do school work.

(Position yourself to know a lot of people. I don't want to list the different backgrounds of people regarding academics, arts, music, different grades, leadership etc. Everyone is unique. It would be tough listing them all out.)

Junior-Senior

Especially in the high school setting, you'll get the opportunity, for example, to have those junior-senior relationships.

When moving up in grades, I'd always treat my lowerclassmen with the same respect I had with my upperclassmen.

I believe that's what made me approachable to my juniors and perhaps my seniors, because I didn't treat either of them with prejudice.

Absolutely, there were people grades above that despised their younger grades. However, I took the more 'mentor-mentee' approach.

This could be friends who had younger siblings, someone younger in my HGR (not the case anymore in 2024), or from orchestra or band.

Even also piggy-backing off my brother I'd get to know people from his cohort.

You'll Know A Guy, Who Knows A Guy

Within a matter of time, looking outside in, your network will become like a giant spider's web.

Like, as random as it may seem, you will start interacting with different groups all because you know one guy from that group.

If you're a great friend, the likelihood that your friend will introduce someone else to you is quite high.

You'll start from knowing one guy from the group, to almost everyone from that group.

"That guy is friends with those guys, who are also friends with these people as well."

You, thus, have the intermixing of friend groups due to many singular points of contact.

Again, you might not be friends with everyone, which shouldn't be the aim at all, but you'll know people and or acquaintances.

Authenticity My Friend

Be More Open

Yes, I had my main friend group. But, I didn't cling to them for dear life.

This was noticeable with the students who were in the Creative Arts. Strangely, the ones that were in the cohorts two below from ours. They tend to hang out with people who were in the Creative Arts and ONLY in the Creative Arts.

(My brother, who is also in their cohort, makes note of it as well.)

You had our cohort observing how they shouldn't be in their own little bubble and should try to branch out.

If you went to a big school, like I did, you have the opportunity to mix and interact with people from all different walks of life.

Be open in the sense of getting to know different people, but also as a person.

Generally, people want to be listened to, and not judged.

• "How is__?"
• "What do you think of __?"
• "How are you going with __?

Asking open ended questions makes people know that you care for what they think and have to say.

Whether it's the assignment, the job, their family, university, movie, game, etc.

Most people care about themselves. And if you're the guy to not talk about yourself, you will be liked by more people.

Being Known For Something

This is now treading through the territory of reputation, notoriety, and infamy.

As much as it may seem, I do not like being different for the sake of being different.

It's a matter of just being you.

I can recall times that I'll be the odd man out.

(You can skip to the next paragraph when you feel like it. I don't expect you to read all of this.)

• Whether it was wearing a MAGA hat.
• Bringing a briefcase as my school backpack for a year.
• Selling Coca-Cola or Krispy Kreme Donuts.
• Reading the notices in front of school house parades.
• Wearing long trousers instead of shorts.
• Doing well in academics.
• Having my own website and YouTube channel.
• Playing cello and piano (amongst my main group of friends).
• Not doing any Sciences for my senior subjects.
• Depth of knowledge of Japanese Kanji.
• Going hard on the school disco dance floors.
• Being my younger brother's brother
• Coming from a mixed Asian background that's not common in predominantly Caucasian environment.

People will connect a story to your name, without your intention.

The best example I can think of is our valedictorian.

Why does everyone know her name, even the ones who never personally met her or had classes with her?

She was the highest performing academic and school captain. I'm grossly oversimplifying her story, but if you wanted a plausible explanation for why so many people knew her, that'd be it.

And for me, doing some uncommon stuff, or actually just being me is what gained my reputation.

In fact, goodwill and positive interactions is what builds reputation the most.

But, I want to re-emphasise that forcefully creating a reputation for yourself that makes more people know you is NOT the goal.

It's a by-product of your interactions with people and your authenticity.

(I only mention reputation because I'm not ignorant that people knew 'of me' before getting to interact with me. Which helped in some cases, and not so much when I was going through 'arrogant and argumentative' phase. Alas, that's the beauty of being a free-thinking individual, you can shatter people's expectations of you.)

Good People Attract Good People

Even though I told like 6 aspects of how I became so known, the process should take care of itself, having more positive interactions with more people.

You shouldn't try to befriend everyone. A friend of many, is a friend of none.

Because if you're a positive person who is open to listening to others and cares more about others than themselves, you will naturally attract people who fuck with that energy.

This guide is more so about meeting a lot of people, and sharing that brief moment when you cross paths.

And, again, I don't think I'm special.

It's the fact that you make people feel special by those small moments that compounds to the numerous people you know.